Why the Dating Market Sucks (And It’s Not Just You, Babe)

If you’ve been swiping through dating apps like it’s a full-time job and still ending up with situationships, ghosting, and men who list “6’0 if that matters” in their bios—congrats, you’re not alone. The modern dating scene is giving chaotic energy, and it’s not because you’re being too picky or not trying hard enough.

The truth is: the dating market is broken. Here’s why it sucks, what’s fueling the mess, and why it’s not just you—it’s the whole system.

1. Dating Apps Have Turned Love Into a Game of Hot or Not

Let’s call it what it is: dating apps are a virtual vending machine of faces. But unlike a real vending machine, you don’t even get what you paid for. It’s all about fast swipes, instant gratification, and endless options that make people feel disposable.

• The paradox of choice means people swipe more but commit less.
• Apps reward short attention spans and surface-level judgments.
• People are always “shopping” for the next best thing—even when they’ve got something good.

2. Ghosting Is the New Breakup

Why use your words when you can just vanish into the abyss like a dating app Houdini? Ghosting has become so normalized that some people don’t even realize it’s rude anymore.

• People don’t want to deal with confrontation.
• “Soft ghosting” (liking your stories but never texting again) is also a thing now. Ugh.
• It leaves people in emotional limbo instead of offering closure.

3. Everyone’s Afraid of Vulnerability

Modern dating has become a competition to see who can care the least. Showing real feelings? That’s seen as a weakness. Telling someone you actually like them? Cringe, apparently.

• We’re all trying to avoid being the one who “catches feelings first.”
• Emotional unavailability is disguised as being “cool” or “low-maintenance.”
• The fear of getting hurt has made everyone cold.

4. Situationships Are the Default Setting Now

Who needs commitment when you can be in a 6-month-long texting relationship that never leaves the talking phase? Welcome to the era of situationships, where nothing is defined and everything is confusing.

• “We’re just vibing” is code for “I don’t want to commit but I want access to you.”
• Emotional breadcrumbing keeps you invested but never fulfilled.
• People are scared of labels, but not scared to waste your time.

5. Hookup Culture Isn’t As Fun As It Pretends to Be

Look, there’s nothing wrong with a little fun—but hookup culture has become the dominant mode of dating, and for many people, it’s just leaving them emotionally drained and burnt out.

• People are mistaking temporary validation for intimacy.
• Constant flings create disillusionment and disappointment.
• Some folks want real connection, but can’t say it out loud in fear of looking “needy.”

6. Social Media Has Made Everyone Delusional

Between thirst traps, curated dating profiles, and TikTok therapists diagnosing everyone with commitment issues, dating now feels like a simulation.

• Instagram and TikTok create unrealistic standards for relationships.
• People compare their real love lives to influencer highlight reels.
• There’s always the fear that your partner is still entertaining “options.”

7. Men and Women Are Out of Sync

There’s a disconnect happening, and we all feel it. A lot of women are emotionally intelligent, financially independent, and ready for real partnership. Meanwhile, many men… are still figuring themselves out.

• The maturity gap is real.
• A lot of men don’t go to therapy or do emotional work, which shows in their relationships.
• Women are raising their standards—and men are struggling to meet them.

8. Everyone’s Tired and Burnt Out

Dating requires energy, vulnerability, and consistency—and most of us are just trying to survive capitalism. Between work, side hustles, and trying to stay mentally stable, adding dating to the mix feels exhausting.

• People are swiping while half-watching Netflix, not actually trying.
• Burnout makes us settle for less—or ghost faster.
• We’ve normalized being “too busy” for basic human connection.

So What Can You Do About It?

Honestly? Focus on your own glow-up. You can’t fix the dating market, but you can:

• Set clear boundaries and intentions from the start.
• Walk away from people who don’t give you clarity or consistency.
• Date with self-worth, not desperation.
• Take breaks when you need to—mental health over hinge matches.

Dating might be trash right now, but you’re not. And when the right person shows up? They’ll treat you like the prize you are—because you are.

So what’s been your biggest ick in the dating market lately? Let’s vent in the comments 👇