Okay girl, it’s time for a little tough love—delivered with love, of course. We all have our dream man checklist. Tall, emotionally intelligent, rich but humble, reads books, plans dates, loves his mama but not too much, has a skincare routine, and somehow also prays every morning and does yoga by sunrise?
Listen. Manifestation is powerful, and having standards? Absolutely non-negotiable. But if your love life feels like it’s on pause and you’re not even getting to the talking stage, it might be time to ask yourself a real question: Do you want a man… or do you want a Pinterest board fantasy?
Let’s unpack it 👇🏽
1. There’s a Difference Between Standards and Fantasies
Standards are values. How someone treats you. What they believe in. How they show up.
Fantasies are aesthetics. They’re the curated IG boyfriend vibes and the “he has to be 6’3” energy. If your list is longer than a CVS receipt but most of it is based on vibes—you might be blocking real love.
2. You’re Allowed to Be Delusional, But Make Sure It’s Intentional
Delusion gets a bad rep, but some of it is cute. Dreaming big, having self-worth, not settling for bare minimum? Love that.
But if no man is ever “good enough” and you’re stuck in “he was great but…” territory over things like shoe choices or Spotify playlists, it may be self-sabotage dressed as high standards.
3. Is Your List Rooted in Reality… or TikTok Tropes?
Sometimes we don’t even realize our expectations aren’t ours—they’re curated by social media. You think you want a globe-trotting, therapy-attending, emotionally available chef with a beard and a G-Wagon because that’s what gets posted. But would that even match your lifestyle?
Your list should reflect what actually aligns with your values—not what looks good on your story highlights.
4. Perfection Isn’t a Partner—It’s a Performance
If you’re waiting for someone with no flaws, no mistakes, and no past—you’re going to be waiting a long time. People are human. Flawed, growing, complicated humans.
Ask yourself: Do I want a real relationship, or do I want to keep curating my independence because I’m scared of vulnerability?
5. Would You Date You?
We love to talk about what he needs to bring to the table. But… what are you bringing? Are you emotionally available? Financially stable? In your soft girl and accountability era?
If your dream man met you right now, would he feel like you were ready for him?
6. The Best Relationships Start When You Drop the Script
When you stop trying to cast the lead in your romantic comedy and start connecting with real people who surprise you, things shift. The man of your dreams might be wrapped in a package you wouldn’t have even looked twice at on Hinge.
Keep the standards. Drop the fantasy. And leave space for someone to exceed your expectations in ways you never saw coming.
Final Thoughts: Keep the Vision, But Stay Open
Wanting the best is a flex. But perfection isn’t love—connection is. You can still have a man who treats you like royalty without him checking every aesthetic box on your “future husband” vision board.
So ask yourself: do you want a man… or a perfectly posed Pinterest fantasy? Because one is real. The other is just mood board material.
Let’s discuss: What’s actually non-negotiable on your list—and what can go? Drop your real talk in the comments 💬❤️
